Reminders of loved ones gone

On Saturday, I went with my Mother to the wedding of her cousin's child. We are either 2nd cousins or cousins once removed. She is one of 7 kids and an identical triplet. I used to love to tell the story about my cousin Mary, who had four boys, prayed for a girl and had triplet girls.

I fall in age between Mary's oldest two boys. The triplets were born when I was 7 and a half. When they were babies, I went with my dad to see some film at Covenant College. It was scary to me, so he let me go with some of my cousins to the nursery... we played with the baby triplets and thought they were the coolest. We also spent every Christmas afternoon together at our Aunt Collyn's house.

My sisters and I tried so hard to play with them, but they had all the friendship they needed in each other, their own language almost. Sometimes, they would play with us, most times they wouldn't.

All that to say, I have never been close to this cousin. But I couldn't help but cry before and through much her wedding. Anyone who saw me must have thought I was crazy!!!! Some of my cousins may have even wondered what I was doing there. But my emotions were not due to the wedding, but at seeing my three great-aunts.

My grandmother, Billie (Wilhelmine Franzenburg Katzenmeyer) died two summers ago. She was a little like each of her sisters. I saw her two youngest sisters, who are well into their 80's. Granny looked most like Aunt Ruthie - who is 85, but looks so healthy! Her husband, Uncle Russ (who is 90) and she each look 15 years younger than they are! Talking to her was almost like talking to my grandmother, but with less intimacy. Then I saw her oldest sister, Jean,88, grandmother to the bride... she insisted on walking down the aisle rather than riding in a wheel chair. She looked so weak and frail. She reminded me of Granny once she became sick. It all made me realize that even though on most days, memories of her don't cause sadness, I do miss her.

It also made me think of the circle of life... and wonder how much these aunts missed their grandparents, parents.... (although I know for sure that they miss spouses and siblings)... wondering to what extent having generations that are younger fills in that gap. And made me thankful that one day I will be reunited with many of my loved ones in heaven.

When I was little, My cousin Mary had a station wagon to transport those 7 kids. I used to daydream that we took their wagon and all of my parents, grandparents, siblings, Aunt Collyn and Uncle Rudy got in and drove it right off Lookout mountain, so that we could all go to heaven together.