Sunday, May 4, 2008

Reflective

I feel like I am entering a new stage of life. So many things have been going through my mind.... but I'm not sure how to articulate it all.

When you have a bunch of little kids, you feel like this is life, and this is how it is going to be. I have been very thankful for my kids, but I tend to struggle with that horrible victim mentallity, and I have at times felt trapped by motherhood. Then I felt guilty for feeling that way, especially since my great aspirations were not to be a doctor or lawyer, but a mother.

Now, I am really getting a taste of how quickly time is flying. I can't believe that this week, I'll be registering my little baby for Kindergarten. I don't know where the time went! It hasn't all been spent wisely.

Two summers ago, I had a very busy summer at church (music camp, Wed.nite preschool program, sub. preschool teacher). I put in more time that summer than I ever have, and 2 weeks before school started, I was sad that I had not spent more quality time with the kids. My friend Dana suggested that I prayed that the Lord would redeem my time, which He did, and those last 2 weeks were wonderful. That is my prayer now. With just over 3 months before school starts, I pray that the Lord will redeem our time, and that we will have a great summer.

Well that is about a 1/100th of whats going on in this crazy mind of mine. Maybe I can express more later : )

2 comments:

Laura said...

Thank you for sharing posts like these. It makes those of us (like me) who are going through similar things feel less alone.

I seem to fluctuate (even in the same day) between feeling like I want to savor every moment, and please someone give me a break!

Anonymous said...

Ruth, what you are feeling is normal. I will be praying the Lord will multiply your time with your children. Savor your time as childhood goes by so quickly. I can't believe over the next few months my children will be 23 and 25. You are a great Mom.